you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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