Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
