i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
