I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
