My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I want to fling myself into the sun
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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