do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nicole vs. Life
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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