I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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