You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
