I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize