What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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