you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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