i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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