Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She tied me up with her honor cords...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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