you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
