I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
