he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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