The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
