I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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