i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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