I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize