Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
