i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm always down for nudity.
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