Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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