yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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