fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
