I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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