she woke up with a sticky ear
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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