It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
