And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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