i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
