kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
