you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize