Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
