All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
