well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
