i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
