once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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