he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
