I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
