Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
