Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
