i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
