i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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