I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
