I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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