I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You can't motorboat a personality
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize