At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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