I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
accomplished twins. life is a go
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
