why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize