i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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