shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i drank out of a bidet.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
