Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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