fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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