This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
