all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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