Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
