he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
