I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
