Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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