Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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