Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
