my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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