She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
